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Aug. 31st, 2009



So I was listening to the first podcast of my Classical Japanese class. As I was listening, I realized that there are already homework assignments. So, I am sitting here freaking out. At the end of the class someone from the MSU class asked the Prof. if the MSU students not present then needed to turn the assignments in when everyone else does. The prof said she wasn't comfortable making the students not present do it, she would give us a bit of time. So I was like, thank god. But one of the MSU students, a Chinese chick, started saying that the students not present could listen to the podcasts and it was possible for us to do the assignments. I just flipped off my computer screen. Why couldn't she let it go, goodness gracious.....

Aug. 25th, 2009



I Am in LOVE with Superfly and this song is amazing.
Pink Clara Bow

Back from California

So the wedding was so much better than the dinner.

I love to dress up, I really do, so I really loved getting ready to go. I loved my dress, and I did my own makeup. I think I did a pretty decent job. I don't wear as much makeup as my sister, but thats okay aved moi. The ceremony was short, thank god. I didn't want to sit through a long boring ceremony. Susan looked really pretty, and my dad wore a tux. I even helped him get ready with his suspenders and his bootaneer (I can't spell it but it's the flower on his lapel). I had a better time talking with my family as well on the Wedding day. Jessie also got me a cocktail, Captain Morgan and Pineapple juice. I wanted another one, but sometime during the night I was supposed to drive my Grandpa and his wife back to their hotel, so I had planned to have another cocktail after that, but they left at the end. Oh well, one was yummy. I sat with Susan's neice again at the dinner and her boyfriend. Everyone thinks her boyfriend is weird, but I think he's funny. But then I guess I'm a little weird too. All the food was yummy, nothing amazing. I got to talk with my cousin Elliot, who I do like. He's starting his senior year of high school, so we talked a bit about school, what he likes, and Japan. He's pretty cool, at least I think so. I also danced at the wedding, although probably badly and awkwardly because I am in a cast. I think the best part of the night was seeing everyone DRUNK! HAHAHA. Aunt Allison, Jessie, and Rache were the worst. But it was pretty funny, at least when they were dancing. When we got back to the room, my sister and me, it wasn't as much fun being around her cause she was being weird, but then again I'm not used to being around drunk people.

So yeah, the wedding was better than the dinner before.

I'm happy to be home. I can paint my nails now here in peace. I bought a bunch of mini OPI polishes in California, once again feeding my addiction. I bought a top matte coat, which I am super excited to try.

I also move in FRIDAY! I am soooo excited to see all my friends again. SO! HAPPY!

Aug. 22nd, 2009

Ghost and Mrs. Muir

Crappy Evening

 So last night was the rehearsal dinner. It was.... not that great. My sister and I picked up my grandpa and his wife at around 2, and then went to their hotel with them. I love my Grandpa, but he can be trying, especially his wife. They complain alot, and by that I mean about everything. The weather, the traffic, the scenery. Those are the staples. But at least I was with my sister there with me, someone to laugh with and stuff. But then my sister decided to leave me and go to a bar with my Aunt Jessie and Aunt Allison and their husbands. I don't see them often, those aunts. I hadn't seen Aunt Allison since April of Freshman year when my Grandma was dying. But I couldn't go cause someone had to drive my Grandpa and Sue, his wife, to the dinner, and I am not 21. I was pissed! So we got to the dinner and my sister was kind of trying to makeup for abandoning me, but not well. I was at the end of my table and my sister was talking with my Aunt Jessie next to her and the person across from me, Kristin, Susan's Niece, I don't think found me interesting.

Thats another thing. I get the feeling that people at these events don't like talking with me. I happen to think I can talk about alot of things, but not jobs or working. And no one really wants to talk about college, Japanese, Teaching, etc. I think back to when my sister was my age, and people talked with her about stuff, and then people didn't with me. I just wonder if maybe because my sister is two years ahead of me, that she is more interesting to talk with. Which I don't think so... but whatever. So yeah, that was fun. I was also thinking about why I actually wanted to see my Aunties and their husbands because after seeing them, I remembered that we don't, not get along isn't the right term, but like maybe we don't have anything to talk about. I was talking about my schooling with Aunt Jessie, and she is the first person I have come across who was telling me that it might not work out. Like, she was saying oh, that's going to be difficult for you to get a job, and she was giving me these weird looks when I was talking about it and these not nice comments . I think my major is pretty damn good, thank you. I have a plan, I know what I will do after college, unlike some other people. Wtf was Jessie talking about. It's like she doesn't understand the education system and what teaching a foreign language or teaching English as a Second Language means. If it doesn't sound weird what she said here, how I wrote it, it's because it's been a few hours now and I don't remember her exact wording, but I'm telling you it pissed me off and it wasn't nice.

Overall, I didn't have a good time. My sister was tipsy when we left so I had to drive and I'm not very comfortable driving streets and freeways I'm not used to at 10pm in the dark. She was being annoying, she wanted to play dance music so she could dance in the car and I would have rather listened to the music I wanted to because I was the one who had to drive and who had to deal with Grandpa earlier during the day. I've heard some people say in the past it's fun to be around people when they are tipsy or buzzed. I want to disagree, at least last night wasn't entertaining. 

Also, at least twice in the past week, people have told me that they find that Japan holds no interest for them, and I didn't ask them how they feel about Japan. But, what is up with that? I'm curious. I've heard people in the past say it too. I don't see how Japan doesn't seem like an interesting place to visit. 

To Patino: This goes to show how boring my family obviously finds me, twice last night, when I was chatting with some of my family members, they talked about you and how much fun you are.

I'm hoping that the wedding today will be more fun. I'm going to try and talk with my cousin Elliot, cause I know that he, at least, likes Japan.

Aug. 16th, 2009

Little Women

In California

 So I'm at my dad's and am very bored. Hence, posting here. I have a memorial to go to today, my cousin's Dad. I hate going to funerals, but it's family. We'll see how it goes. 

It feels so weird coming into California. When I was in the car coming from John Wayne Airport, I just had this sense that I was home. The look of the trees, buildings, everything. It just makes me so nostalgic. But then I don't end up back at my Palo Alto Home, or even my dad's home on Sisson Drive. I end up in Seal Beach, and then it hits me. This isn't my home anymore. It's a weird feeling. California doesn't completely feel like home anymore, but then neither does Michigan. I hate being stuck in this place, feeling like I don't belong really anywhere. Except maybe at school. I do truly love being at school. Maybe that's why I love being there. When I moved in for the first time, so did other people. We all started from basically the same place. Here in California, I left my group of friends and we both went down two different paths. In high school in Michigan, all the people already had their friends and I was left more on the outside. Not that I didn't find anybody, but still. Now, now I have friends at school, whom I truly love to be around. Man, I really miss school. 

I've been able to hang out more with my soon to be step-sister, Kerry. Oh my! She does nothing, and I mean nothing, but text! What on earth could she be texting about from 10 am to 11 pm. Seriously! She also has no interests. Right now, I can see her playing with a box of straws. Thats how boring she is! She sits around and does nothing. She doesn't even like TV. When I was her age, 12, I know I was lazy, but I had interests. I liked to draw, I was really into Anime, and I liked Tv, and I also liked to read. Nada with her! It's so sad. And she is also going through this phase where she hates everything. She hates TV, hates dogs, hates video games, hates books. She even hated Camp Sherman, the girl scout camp I went to at her age that I loved and still look back on as some of the best moments of my childhood years. She is just so boring. I hope she gets some interests, and soon. She can be really difficult to be around. I don't think I was like that at her age...

On a semi different note, I went to a LA Galaxy game last night. They were playing the Seattle Sounders. I was excited because I haven't seen Beckham play in person yet. But guess what, he got a RED CARD 17 minutes into the game! I was sooo pissed and sad. This ref, he was such a dick! To quote my dad, he was handing out cards like a Vegas dealer. A player from Seattle also got a red card, and then another player from the galaxy. Three RED CARDS! Thats not mentioning all the yellow cards.  Landon Donovan had Swine Flu, he was playing but not up to his usual level. So, sucky game. We lost 2 to 0. 

Jul. 5th, 2009

Let Yourself Go!

(no subject)

Wow, I Really Need to Stop Waking Up at 3 pm. It's not good I'm thinking....

Jun. 30th, 2009

Little Women


OMG, I am so bored. Summer is boring to begin with, but then I  have this cast that makes moving infinitely harder to do. I think I'm getting better at moving around, but still. I can't just go for a walk if I want to. So I'm bored, and Mary said she was getting an LJ so I thought I would update this. I wish I was back at school. I hate being here. I miss just being in my room with Danielle. I have no one to watch tv and movies with now. I miss my friends being close by. Now only a few are. I swear that by the end of this summer I will be crazy.

So to occupy my time, I have been listening to some Japanese music. In my opinion, it doesn't compare to American music. I feel like we have a variety of artists and then artists who are trying to things differently. Everything sounds the same in J-Pop, at least of what I've been listening to. But I suppose it's helping my Japanese to listen and try and understand these songs. So I'll continue to do it.

Bruce's family is coming to visit. His two children and his parents. I would actually like to meet them. Well, I met them a bit at the wedding but how long ago was that? So I would like to see them. But Bruce doesn't want me around his family. This is what I have decided about Bruce. When he married my Mom, he took her, only her. Not me or my sister. And I guess I've always thought that when step-parents came into families, they have to accept the children as well as the person who they are marrying. Well, no one told Bruce I suppose. So to him, I'm just this person he has to deal with, I'm not his family. And, Thank God, Susan doesn't think like that. I know I had my issues with her, but I grew up. And now I like her, really like her. Sure, she can do or say stuff sometimes that I just find crazy, but I think she sees me as family. And I think when she says stuff, even if I don't like it, I think she is saying it to me because she wants me to be well and happy. But Bruce, he doesn't. As my Mom told me, he sees me as some monstrous thing living in the basement. And that's his family sees me. I thought I was on good terms with his daughter, but my Mom tells me that she doesn't have a good impression of me. So, I don't know what to do. He wants me gone when they come, I don't really want to go, also considering I can't move around alot, even though I will have my walking cast by then. Truthfully, I don't understand why Bruce hates me so much. I know I was terrible when I was a teenager, but I'm 20 now. I feel like I am better, unless he provokes me, which he does all the time. Like he makes jokes about me being dead and stuff. That's not normal, right?

May. 5th, 2008


Writer's Block: Cinco de Mayo

Are you celebrating Cinco de Mayo?
I didn't think I was but, then I realized I'm making tacos for lunch. So I suppose..... with the tacos I make, which aren't even really tacos.... Cause I don't like alot of the stuff in tacos.

Apr. 29th, 2008

Let Yourself Go!


I'm Obsessed!!!! 
Ghost and Mrs. Muir

End of the Year. My Last Goodbyes to MSU until the Fall.

Packing is completely overwhelming me. Even though I have packed alot, there is still so much. Alot of trash and stuff. So frustrating. And I have all these boxes around my room, so it's hard to walk around. 

I really don't want to leave. I think it will be nice to be home for like three weeks or so, but  I know sooner or later I am going to get so fucking bored and want to see my friends again. I know I'll see Allison and Mary, and I will Definitely road trip to Beth, but I don't know about everyone else. I'm also worried that I am going to forget Japanese over the summer. I don't know what to do to not forget. The little workbooks at the store are so below my level, they wouldn't help in the least bit. I also will miss learning. I like learning, as long as it's something I want to learn. This summer, I am going to try learning a little bit of Spanish. I'm not kidding myself that I'll actually learn it, but I think I could learn a little. The Basics. I wish I could just take Language classes. That would just be pure bliss. Except that I think learning a language can be frustrating. I've spent 5 years of my life trying to learn Japanese, and I still know so little. It is one of the slowest languages to learn for English speakers, but it's still frustrating. Like, now, as I'm listening to a Japanese version of a Miss Saigon song, I don't understand a thing they say. And I hate it when people ask me if I'm fluent in Japanese because I am in Japanese 202 now and I say I can understand very little, I hate it when they give me this look. It's not like I don't try! I'm one of the best in my class! People just don't understand that Japanese is different than the more commonly taught languages like Spanish and French. But I hate that look. 私 は 人々 が 分かる と いいんですが。。。日本語 を 習う こと って 難しい!

1 Final Down, 2 more to go. Thursday and Friday. We'll see how it goes.

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